Today I bring you the highly-requested I Am A Gerbil, circa 1989. It is a fully-illustrated, bound and laminated (so you know it's serious), 8-page book.
|I am a gerbil.|
|I just got into a big big room with all these kids. They made me a new cage. My name is Buster.|
|These kids use these weird sticks to write with. I think I'm going to like it here.|
|One night I got out of my cage.|
|In the morning I got in and they didn't know it. I loved getting out of my cage.|
|I am strong so I busted out of my cage because I wanted to and I am a boy.|
|About the Author: I am 7years old. I go to Dogwood. I live in Resten[sic], Va. My birthday is July 2. My favorite animal is a gerbil. I like to learn. I wish I had 1000 dollars.|
Let's break this down.
Buster's name was apropos as he eventually busted out of his cage. Literary genius right there.
Apparently, the only condition necessary for liking a new home is a bunch of kids with weird stick-like writing implements. Be on the lookout for that next time you're house hunting.
The kids didn't know the gerbil got back in the cage? Sentence fail. I take back the literary genius comment.
Girls can be strong and bust out of cages too! Damn gender stereotyping going strong in the 2nd grade.
I was seriously low-balling that wish for money. I should have added a few more zeros.